MBA Chronicles : Scared outta my MIND


Have you ever been so afraid to do something major in your life that, that doubt prevents you from achieving your goals? This is something that I am being forced to overcome while pushing ahead with my MBA ambitions.

It is so crazy, because this is what I have wanted so badly for the last four years, and yet now that I am here, I am scared out of my mind. With every pre-course that I work on and with every case study that we are given to review, I feel more and more nervous that this is something that I can not do. I keep thinking, is this normal? Why am I doubting myself so badly?

I think part of the reason all of these feelings have been rushing in is partly because I was not mentally prepared for how much work I was going to have to do prior to school starting. I believed that I could have one summer of just chilling with no job, waking up when ever I wanted, until school started….WRONG.

This MBA program hasn’t even officially started and I have already turned in several assignments, taken several tests, and done so much research and preparation for my career aspirations.

Daily it is one thing after another ,and to be quite frank it is a bit overwhelming. BUT, although I am overwhelmed it is showing me that there are a lot of things that I need to improve on once I enter school.

The first thing being NOT PROCRASTINATING. Part of the reason I am in this extremely stressed space that I am in is because I went to Trinidad for two weeks and instead of doing work, I sat around all day and limed (Trini term for hanging out) with my family. Once school starts I obviously will have to step my game up and sacrifice sleep, and down time to do school work.

The second thing is my TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. I need to do a better job managing the time that I carve out dedicated to school work. There have been several days when I say I am going to wake up by a certain time to get work done and then I don’t start it until late.

The third thing is IMPROVE NOTE TAKING. I am the type of person who likes to take down super detailed notes. This has proved to be ineffective for me as I spend hours and hours just writing stuff down and not getting through the content quick enough. This ties back to TIME MANAGEMENT because I literally waste precious time writing things that may not necessarily need to be written down.

The fourth thing is STAYING POSITIVE. I don’t know why I am so hard on myself. I don’t know why I have a hard time looking for the good in stressful situations and striving past complaining. I think that with me being in an MBA program I don’t have time to be negative and to beat myself up. I need to ALWAYS stay positive, find a solution and work towards it.

As I work towards a better future for myself I have to remember this one thing, I CAN DO THIS, and I WILL DO THIS. 

MBA Chronicles: Power of THE PUSH


I am two weeks away from business school orientation and I feel like I have a million and one things to get done. My to do list comprises of finishing up pre-course work, back to school shopping, getting my immunization records to the school, deferring my loans, buying stuff for my new apartment, registering for “Math Camp”, doing work for the career services team, and so much more.

The pre-course workload is way heavier than I thought it would be and I’m starting to regret going on vacation and doing nothing for two weeks. Usually in situations like these I would get 1) super flustered  2) just quit and say I’m not doing it and just take the 0% grade. But it’s crazy when you want something bad enough you will somehow find your inner grit, and get sh*t done. Yesterday I had a very late start to my day (my sleep pattern is way off ever since returning from vacation). I went to the library around 5pm and started doing work. I went home right before the library closed at 9pm, and kept doing work. Before I knew it, it was 2:30am! Between the hours of 5pm-2:30am I dedicated my time to my school work. Was I tired? Hell yes, but what kept me motivated was my end goal of making six figures after I graduate, and how badly I want to reach that goal.

In undergrad I wasn’t the best student, but I wasn’t the worst. When I applied myself I made Deans List 4 out of the 8 semesters I was there. I slept a lot in undergrad and hardly ever stayed up past 12am studying. If something was hard I’d bullsh*t my way through it to get a decent enough grade. Back then I was too lazy to see the importance of hard work. Fast forward to today, Ive had a 9-5 job in corporate America that I hated. I have been underpaid for most of my career and the work that I was doing was not interesting to me at all. Going through that experience really has given me the ” The Power of the Push”. 

I’m not sure where I got this term from, maybe I made it up…but this is a term that has been repeating in my head over and over again since I’ve been in this season. “The Power of the Push” is what separates great from mediocre, the strong from the weak, and those who want it to those who don’t.

For most of my life I have always felt as though there are just some people who just succeed because they are simply smarter. As I navigated through corporate America, I realized that its not about smarts all the time. Its about who works harder, who wants it more, who pushes harder to get what they want. I mean a great example of this is Donald Trump. His vocabulary is limited, he isn’t well read, and he isn’t the smartest cookie in the batch but some how he has been able to elevate himself to the highest office in the United States (granted him being a white man has probably helped a lot too, lol).

My will to succeed is so strong that I can not see anything except GREAT things ahead of me. I am willing to put my blood, sweat, and tears into this. Something that I can’t say Ive been willing to do for anything in my life thus far. So as I begin my business school career I am going to promise myself to keep pushing, to not allow outside factors disrupt my grind, and to always remember the POWER of the PUSH!!!