As I sit here just thinking out loud and thinking about a few things that I have been faced with in 2017 I wanted to come and write a post about something that I’ve been failing to understand…
Men want a successful woman, but just not one who is more successful than them. They want a woman who is independent but they want to feel needed. They want a woman who has money but just not more money than them.
As I exited my last relationship these were a few of the issues that I was faced with. Having someone tell me they felt inferior to me because of everything I was working hard to do and because I didn’t “need” them for anything was confusing and somewhat hurtful. Being that I’ve always believed that a woman could make more than a man, be independent and still value that man all the same, hearing something as such really left me perplexed.
Do I dim my light so that I can be with the man that I really want to be with? Do I pretend to “need” a man when my parents have taught me to be independent and make a way for myself?
One thing that I’ve never wanted for myself was to be with a man and if he leaves, I have not a pot to piss in. With me being in grad school and pursuing my MBA, it is a shot for me to make sure that I am financially secure for the rest of my life. Having my own is very important to me because then I know no one can take it away from me.
Prior to this experience I have tried to not judge others by their degrees, their financial situations and what their job titles were. I’ve always felt that if you have a good heart, you were hard working and treated me well, then you and I could be together. Now that I’ve gone through my experience, I’m beginning to realize why the Bible says we should be equally yolked. Moving forward I’ve realized that I have to pick men with credentials similar to mine, not because I’m being a snob or bougie but rather because most men can’t handle not being the financial “top dog”.