Getting my spirit right – How to make the first steps to change your life

I am realizing now that for the last few years my spirit has been all wrong. If you asked my then though, I would have said it was in the right place.

As hard as it is to admit, this time last year I was arrogant (because I was entering an MBA program), I was scared (because I was entering an MBA program), I was jealous (I was always comparing others lives to mine), I was mean (using my power to hurt others if I felt like I was wronged), I was depressed ( I was in a toxic relationship with a person who was lost too), and I was constantly filled with anxiety (I always consumed myself with thoughts of the future and what was going to happen to me). I thought I was a good person but in reality I was lost and bound to the person society said I should be (looking at the way black women are portrayed in the media, I was fitting in very well with that mold). It took me some time and some bad incidences to realize that something in my life had to change. I could no longer keep waking up with a deep aching feeling inside of my chest and having the occasional cry in my car just to “let things out”. I needed more, a lot more. And that is when I decided that I was going to push myself and seek out God.

Now that I am on a spiritual journey and rediscovering Christ I realized that I had to turn away from A LOT. In order to do so I had to sit and really think about the things I needed to eliminate in order to get to where I’m was trying to be. Below are a few things I’ve changed:

1. Decreasing my time spent on social media – this is a hard one but a necessary one. I haven’t given it up cold turkey but I did delete my Instagram app. I was spending hours looking at what everyone else was doing in their lives and would begin feeling depression or envy. In order to combat this I deleted my app to decrease my accessibility to those thoughts and feelings.

2. Reading my Bible, watching sermons – it’s amazing how the things we go through today are written about in the Bible. God has provided us with the blueprint to properly navigate through our lives, all we have to do is read what’s in his word.

3. Forcing myself to think positively– I was told that if you force yourself to think positively, it trains your brain, over time, to think positively. This is important in combating negative feelings that may be weighing you down. I have really made a point to do this daily and I have already been feeling a massive difference

4. Talking to someone – whether it be a counselor, a therapist, a pastor or a life coach, talking to a professional on the regular will help with trying to change your life. And no I’m not talking about your best friend who is probably just as lost, hurt and broken as you, but a real professional who knows what they are talking about and who can give you techniques to strive and get better.

5. Changing what I eat – believe it or not what you eat actually affects your mood and behavior. You eat junk, you’re going to get junk. Changing up my diet is still something I’m working on but I have decreased the amount of junk foods in my diet. Though it’s hard being a college student and not eating out, this is essential in turning things around.

I have a lot more tips that I will save for another post but these are just a few that I have started with to help me down the right path. So far, just a few weeks in to my journey and with these changes I have already been able to FEEL a really big change!

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My Journey Of Rediscovering Christ

I haven’t always been the most spiritual person. I grew up in a religious family but I always found church boring and unnecessary. It seemed like such a major task. One that I was not willing to take part in, so around the age of 14, I stopped going to church and stopped praying. I wouldn’t say that I stopped believing but my faith was not where it needed to be.

All throughout high school and college I walked a faithless walk. I did what I wanted to do and really didn’t care much about building a real relationship with God. It wasn’t until I was 24 years old and I went through my first real heartbreak that I realized I needed to do something else to heal the pain I was in. At this time I moved to Dallas in an attempt to make myself feel better. When that didn’t work I decided to turn to God. During that time period, I was in a lot of pain but I found comfort in God. It was an amazing feeling and I had never felt more peace than when I was in his presence. I would pray a lot and seek God in the times of turmoil. But unfortunately as I built up this relationship with God, I began to backslide as soon as I moved back on the east coast. There were a number of reasons for this, but mostly because I was surrounded by none believers who did nothing to help my spirit.

Since then it has been a constant up and down of me always promising to get back in the church and to read my Bible and not actually doing it. Being in an MBA program is so hard that after your week is completed you sometimes want to use the whole weekend to decompress, but I’ve been feeling like there is something missing from my life. I’ve tried to fill the void with a number of things. I would even say that coming back to school was an attempt to do as such but the emptiness still persisted. I finally realized that what I was missing was a relationship with Christ.

It is not easy to just pick back up where you left off and some times it can seem scary trying to take the steps needed to find Jesus but I built a plan for myself to take baby steps to where I need to be. I have tried to come back hundreds of times but this time I am determined to will myself back into His presence. I have decided to start with prayer and daily reading of His word. I have set up a series of reminders to do so, as well as, have told close friends about my journey so they can hold me accountable. I have begun bringing my Bible places with me to ensure I read a little each day. I signed up for daily devotional emails and have made an effort to talk about Christ to my Christian friends. My goal is to sharpen my faith muscles by surrounding myself by His word. I want to rebuild my foundation so that the pains of this world can stop having such an affect on me.

I am curious to see my transformation as I continue to study the word and delve deeper into my relationship with Christ. I am excited to see the person I am with broken chains and deliverance. I know this won’t be easy but I am ready and willing to put in the work to ensure that my spirit is right moving forward.