All posts by Kim C

5 Things you can do Today to Kick Depression 😁

Listen, I use to hate when I was depressed and people would say to me “Happiness is a Choice”…but lowkey ….it is.

If you were like me, you’re probably rolling your eyes right now. What that expression is saying is that you have the power to make specific steps to become happier. I didn’t know this before but I recently discovered that the following 5 steps can really help in making you happier.

1) Get off social media

Bruh, I’m trying to tell you. Nothing makes you more depressed than looking at others happy, living their best lives and doing things you aren’t doing. Remember, nobody posts their struggles and social media is just a highlight reel. It’s a fake metric to life and it will only make you more depressed. So take a break and get your mind right.

2) Write down your blessings each day

Thinking about what I do have, and all the blessings in my life has done tremendous for my mental health. What do I mean? Well think about it, being alive is a blessing. Having sight, all your limbs, having another day to make things better in your life are all blessings. When I started to really think about what I do have and how things could be so much worse, it really helped me to stop feeling so depressed and to be more grateful.

3) Make a plan to get out of your depression

There are several reasons why you could be depressed. Money issues, relationship issues, work, school…life is hard man, I get it. But, what steps can you take to make things better? If you just broke up with your boyfriend and you want to stop being sad, write down what you will do to get better each day. Will you join a work out class? Become more involved in church? Whatever it is, make that plan. Have specific steps and check them off. Having a plan makes the world seem less big and your mind less frantic!

4) Spend a certain amount of time alone

This one is something that I wish I knew before. People would always say “you’re depressed, go out and have fun.” Uhhhh sure but my fun would usually land me drinking tequila shots with my friends and me internally still feeling low. It wasn’t until I was by myself, going through the motions with my thoughts that I was able to properly create coping mechanism for my depression. Trust me, this wasn’t easy at all but it was necessary for me to sit with my thoughts, confront them, then combat them.

5) Stay away from drugs and alcohol

This was probably one of the most crucial things for me. As hard as it is to say it, I may have drank too much in my day. Any time I was stressed, sad, mad,happy, anxious …anything, I would drink alcohol. But guess what…the next day the problems were still there and I would feel even more guilty about wasting my time drinking rather than trying to come up with solutions. This would then make me even more depressed. And then the depression cycle would continue.

These steps aren’t a overnight thing. You need to keep at it and work on it each day in order to get your mind right. It’s not going to be easy but starting with these steps will for sure help you down the path of a depression-less life!

-Kim C

Being Still

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I have been away for a long time…

So, where have I been?

To put it quite frankly I have been away…BEING STILL. Yes, You read that right, The last few months I took time out to do the least, be still, focus on myself, and reevaluate many things in my life. In doing this I found the greatest gift of all…I found God.

Finding God honestly wasn’t my goal. I took time to be still because my life was not going the way that I wanted it to. I had, had and extremely stressful second year of my MBA program, and I had decided to separate myself, be by myself, and just be still with my thoughts. I will admit, when I first decided to do this it was 100% due to my depression. I didn’t have an awe inspiring moment of retrospective where I knew this is what I HAD TO DO to better myself. No, I just didn’t want to be around happy people because I felt so crappy. I was having a hard time finding a job that I wanted, and as I saw all of my friends landing their dream jobs. I was left feeling like God had forgotten me. I didn’t want to be around them as they were happy, and joyous. As they knew of their future plans and were making arrangements for their new lives, I was left wondering “Whats going to happen to me”. I just didn’t want to be around the swirling questions of “So, what are you doing next year?”, and me having to admit that I hadn’t achieved the goal that we were all in B-School for. This avoidance led to me wanting to be alone. Alone with myself, and thoughts.  I stopped going out with my friends, and even skipped graduation because I didn’t want to be bothered to be around people. I only really spent time with my boyfriend and my roommate. Other than that, I was withdrawn. I would drink and smoke to cope only to wake up the next day feeling even more depressed.

In the midst of this depression, I saw an IG post for a church about 20 mins away from my apartment. A girl who I use to be best friends with in high school had posted it. I then went to the churches IG page and began watching its content. I was immediately drawn to the messages, and I knew that I had to go visit this church for myself. I had been attending another popular church in my area, but I was only attending to check that box of ✔️Im going to church✔️Im a good Christian…so now God will bless me.  It didn’t better me, nor did I have a desire to change my life M-Sa. But this new church….it just felt different.

Im not going to lie, it wasn’t just an overnight thing. I didn’t walk in the doors of the church and my life just magically changed. I had to really lean in, and keep attending. This new church kept me coming back because it intrigued me, it made me want to read the Bible for myself and learn more. I still was battling with depression but going to church and learning about God and chasing after him slowly began to change my mindset. I stopped drinking and smoking. I was more conscientious of the media that I consumed. As I said, it wasn’t an overnight thing and there were times when I sat there and was like “What is all this for. Is God even real?” But when I would feel this way, I would give myself a few days of frustration and then come back push in even more to build a relationship with Him. I would pray harder, I would read my Bible more, and I would watch more sermons to get my spirit right. I even became heavily involved in my church to distract myself from my own thoughts.

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Me in Trinidad February 2019

Today I am able to honestly report that I am in such a GREAT SPACE. As, I said before this was not an overnight thing, and it took me some time to get to this space. If I had given up and quit with this journey I wouldn’t be where I am today. Mentally, and Emotionally, I am in such an AUTHENTIC happy space (authenticity is key). I attribute all of this due to me being STILL. The old me would have pushed more into partying, drinking and smoking to attempt to cope with the disappointments in my life but this time around I decided to do things differently. And with me doing so, I also found God. The best gift of my life.

I share this story to encourage you to not avoid your problems, not to drown yourselves in coping methods but to rather take time to be STILL. A Lot of time. Not just a week or a weekend. It might take months, but keep still until the atmosphere changes. Keep still and find enriching things to fill your time. Keep still and find God.

 

XoXo -Kim

 

Trinidad – Late Post

As I mentioned before, I didn’t get the chance to post as much as I would have liked to in the last year, and I am hoping to get better this year. Last year I was fortunate enough to travel out of the country twice, and one of those places being Trinidad. If you have read my other blogs then you know that Trinidad is a place I travel to on a yearly basis due to my whole family still living there. So of course I had to go again in 2018 to see my family and decompress from my first year within the MBA program. I actually went twice last year, and these are those pics from my fun!

 

 

Mexico – Late Post

In the last few months, I have not been the best at posting what I am living through. The reasons being that being in an MBA program is extremely difficult and hectic so as much as I want to post every little experience, I just can’t. I wanted to take the time to post some of my favorite travel moments that occurred in 2018 starting with Cabo San Lucas, Mexico

2019, Im coming for you

I am a week into 2019 and I have to say that Im really excited for what is to come for me. Something happened on Jan 1, 2019 that I have never experienced before. I was filled with excitement, and optimism. Yes, theres a lot of things that I need to get done this year, and NO everything is not currently perfect but I am really content with where I am at mentally. 2018 was not easy or perfect but for the first time in a long time I can literally see the changes that have occurred within myself and the benefits that I have received from it. In all, I am just really proud of myself for my PUSH THROUGH game, and I am content with the path that I am on. Many people love to brag about all their physical successes, but for me 2018 was about spiritual, emotional, and mental successes. It was about getting myself right and pushing forward. Although I still have a lot to do (find a job, finish school, make other big life decisions) I know that God is walking with me every step of the way and I know that I don’t need to worry about anything. I am claiming it. This will be my year, and every year after this!

Did I stick to my 2018 Goals?

Often times I find that we make these new years resolutions and we never actually revisit them after January. I wanted to look at what I wrote down as my New Years resolution for 2018 and see if I was able to stick with some of what I wrote down. This is not only a means of holding myself accountable but also a means of encouraging myself to stick on the path that I am on and work harder at things that I wrote down. So without further ado, lets get into it!

  1. No more self silencing – This was something that was directed towards one person in my life who use to make me feel really bad about expressing myself. He was constantly criticizing me and making it seem as though everything that came out of my mouth was WRONG or STUPID (which was really funny because he literally was a person that had not one pot to piss in). This is what caused me to self silence as a means to not offend this person. I never had this issue with anyone else. Long story short, it was HIM not ME, and my life has been way better ever since we have broken ties. So I do not self silence and I guess I technically never really did.
  2. No More Comparing – Sadly, this again ties into #1. This person made me feel so crappy about myself that I was CONSTANTLY comparing myself to other women. I got rid of his negativity and began comparing myself WAY LESS.
  3. Self Preservation – I think that this year I have done a better job of self preservation but I definitely can do better. One great thing that happened to me in the last quarter of the year was that I began drinking way less and started being a little bit more conscience and aware of what I was putting in my body. I also tried to be aware of what I was watching and listening to, because as you may or may not know, all of that can really have an affect on your everyday life.  I also began going to church on a weekly basis and utilized the word as a means of mental renewal.
  4. Using Social Media Less – I think that I had spurts of when I was using it less, but definitely not where I want to be. If you know anything, then you should know that social media is a tool that can really kill ones spirit.
  5. No complaining, Positive Outlooks Only – I have gotten way better at this! I try to be more aware of what I am saying and how I am thinking in general. This has allowed me to be less depressed and really push through the hard times.
  6. Be more prepared – Last year I wrote this because school was a real struggle for me and I felt as though I was lacking, but in reality I am not this ill prepared person.
  7. Work Harder – This is something that everyone can try to better at year over year. Work harder than your hardest! I did do that this past year, and I plan on doing it again in 2019!

I turned the big 3-0

I remember when I turned 25, I was so sad. I cried and cried thinking that I was getting so old, I was unmarried and I was super miserable in the relationship I was in.

Each year that passed after that, the feeling somewhat stayed the same. A feeling of “oh Gosh, I’m getting older, what do I do now”.

But as my 30th drew near, something clicked in me and the usual feeling of sadness did not come. Rather, As my birthday approached I was filled with excitement and appreciation to see this age. The last few months I have been on an appreciation kick. Appreciating every last thing I could think of from big things such as being in an MBA program, to small things like being able to move all my toes and fingers. This appreciation didn’t allow me to feel any sense of sadness or anxiety of being 30, rather I was filled with joy that God allowed me to be on this earth this long.

I must say, I love the thought of being in my 30s and leaving all the junk and baggage of my 20s behind. I am now older, calmer, smarter, stronger….better. And that my friends is something worth being happy for!