It’s so funny how God works. Between the years of 2011-2015, I wanted to move to Chicago so badly. I fell in love with the city from the first time I visited it and I wanted to be apart of it. I applied to every job I could in Chicago and I sought out transfer opportunities from my then employers. Nothing seemed to work and I got it in my head that Chicago just wasn’t where I was meant to be….
Fast forward to present day and I now have the opportunity to live in Chicago! It is only for a 3 month period during the summer, but nonetheless, this is an exciting time for me! As any MBA student or prospective student knows, obtaining a summer internship is an integral part of the MBA program. It is an opportunity to get on the job training in your desired field, a chance to get a full time offer for the next year and an opportunity to make some really good money (like ridiculously amazing)! And within the first week of my second semester I obtained an internship with my company of choice in Chicago!
I feel so blessed to be in this space and I give all glory to God. The internship search process is long and very hard, so the fact that I obtained one so early on was a real stress reliever.
Oh and an amazing little tidbit that makes this that much sweeter is that I’m the first person from my school to be hired at this major company! Being black and being the first feels so amazing! I have to set the bar high for those who come after me and hope I can make my school proud!
This just goes to show never give up on your dreams, and never give up on God because he has a plan for you, he is bigger and he is always WORKING!
I had to take some time to really think about what my New Years resolution would be. Initially when I decided to write this post I was rushing to write down things and I found that my resolutions were somewhat cliche and unauthentic. So it took me 15 days into January to really figure out what I wanted to work on this year and how I want to improve in life. So here it is:
- No more self silencing – A lot of times I have self silenced myself in fear of what others may think or fear of hurting another persons feelings. This has caused a lot of issues in my life because I find myself doing things that I don’t necessarily want to do. Then I beat myself up for not speaking up.
- No More Comparing – This is something that I didn’t even realize that I did until I forced myself to sit back and take time to think about my flaws. I don’t think that most women would admit it (but I’m going to be real here), but I realized that this is something that I did so much that I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
- Self Preservation– I realized that this HAD to be on my list. I need to practice self preservation of my mind, body and soul. I want to do more to preserve my physical by eating healthier, drinking more water, and working out. I also want to make sure to do things like getting facials and focusing more on my hair health. I want to go to church more to feed my mind and soul. And take the time to sit, pray, be quiet, and meditate to feed my mental!
- Using Social Media Less – This ties in to my #2. I believe that with me going on social media and clicking on others pages and thinking negative comments about others, or thinking negative comments about myself, I am in turn doing more damage to myself than I realize. By forcing myself to use social media less, stay away from certain peoples pages (lets admit, we all go on peoples pages that we don’t follow and or even like), and spending more time and energy to improving myself will allow me to really improve in 2018.
- No complaining, Positive Outlooks Only – This is the key to living a better happy life, in my opinion. It will improve my daily mood, my daily outlook, and my overall success in life.
- Be more prepared – Being that I am in school, I need to get way better at being more prepared. I need to stop waiting until the last minute to study, to do assignments.
- Work Harder – I work hard but there is always room to work harder and nap less.
I think this is literally the first time in my life I have been at PEACE. I am a person who deals with a lot of anxiety and some times I make myself cray thinking about the things that I can not change and control. This year I decided that all of that was going to stop and that I would no longer live my life as such. I started off my year being the same old me with all of my anxiety and so on but one day I got down on my knees and decided to pray. The prayer that I prayed was for God to help me with my anxiety, and allow me to be more grateful for the things that I have and STOP harboring over the things that I don’t have. I also asked God to help me be more positive in all situations and always find the good in anything that is thrown my way. I also promised to stop looking at what other people were doing in their lives and just focus on myself.
My goal in 2018 is to put 110% energy, mental and physical, into myself. Ever since I have prayed this prayer and really been trying to be more positive, my whole attitude has been totally different. I have never felt better before. I am so at peace with myself and my life than I have ever been in my life. It has only been about a week since I prayed this prayer, but when I tell you that since that week I have been thrown some curve balls (including me getting robbed in Trinidad)…I have been thrown some massive curve balls that were meant to take me down. BUT someway, somehow I haven’t felt anxiety or depression rather just Peace and Joy!!!
I say this to say, that being at Peace isn’t something that you can’t have too. You need to strive for it and really work on it. You need to identify and eliminate the things that is causing you not to have peace in your life. A habit, a person or a place that you’re in, whatever it is, nip it in the bud immediately. And last but not least, pray with an honest and open heart for peace and stillness.
As I sit here just thinking out loud and thinking about a few things that I have been faced with in 2017 I wanted to come and write a post about something that I’ve been failing to understand…
Men want a successful woman, but just not one who is more successful than them. They want a woman who is independent but they want to feel needed. They want a woman who has money but just not more money than them.
As I exited my last relationship these were a few of the issues that I was faced with. Having someone tell me they felt inferior to me because of everything I was working hard to do and because I didn’t “need” them for anything was confusing and somewhat hurtful. Being that I’ve always believed that a woman could make more than a man, be independent and still value that man all the same, hearing something as such really left me perplexed.
Do I dim my light so that I can be with the man that I really want to be with? Do I pretend to “need” a man when my parents have taught me to be independent and make a way for myself?
One thing that I’ve never wanted for myself was to be with a man and if he leaves, I have not a pot to piss in. With me being in grad school and pursuing my MBA, it is a shot for me to make sure that I am financially secure for the rest of my life. Having my own is very important to me because then I know no one can take it away from me.
Prior to this experience I have tried to not judge others by their degrees, their financial situations and what their job titles were. I’ve always felt that if you have a good heart, you were hard working and treated me well, then you and I could be together. Now that I’ve gone through my experience, I’m beginning to realize why the Bible says we should be equally yolked. Moving forward I’ve realized that I have to pick men with credentials similar to mine, not because I’m being a snob or bougie but rather because most men can’t handle not being the financial “top dog”.
Being in business school full time and pursuing an MBA will make you realize how that nothing could have prepared you for the rigor of the course work and the time commitment that is associated with being in an MBA program. But, with all hurdles in life, I know that this too will one day come to an end and once I have the letters MBA next to my name I know that all of the late nights, early mornings, meetings, applications to internships, corporate events, networking happy hours, assignments, tests, study sessions, and lack of sleep….will all be worth it.
The one thing I would say that I do feel guilty about is the lack of time that I have to communicate with my old friends and family members that are not my immediate family (even my immediate family get very minimal time with me now). But other than the course rigors, late nights, and always being busy, business school is SO MUCH FUN. I mean, how can it not be???? You are introduced to a whole new set of people who, for the most part, have the same ambitions and thinking as you, who are in the same space as life as you are, and who are eager to learn and make new connections as you are. I mean honestly, we work hard and play hard within my program. But, I mean how could we not??? The amount of stress that we face each day is crazy and by the time our last class is completed on Thursday evening we are just ready to unwind with usually a little wine, good music, and each others company lol!
In all, I’ve told several people that business school is not for everyone nor is it for the faint of hearts (and please understand that not all business schools are the same so if you are attending an unranked school then you probably can’t relate). But if you want to attend just be mentally prepared for everything that comes with it. Don’t give up and just keep pushing.
Pursuing an MBA is one hardest things that I have done thus far in my life. It is difficult to jump back into school The last time I was in school was in 2011, and at the end of 2016 I decided that I wanted to apply to business school. I wanted to transition out of my previous career in advertising sales and work in an industry that would allow me to better use my skills in strategy and marketing.
Fast forward nine months after I was accepted into business school and I have just completed my first month. Things have been extremely hard but with every passing week things get easier. What do I mean? Well in my first week of school I was extremely overwhelmed with the amount of work that we were given right away. I unwisely thought of my undergraduate days when the first week of school was usually the easiest out of the year. WRONG. It was tough, and the professors made sure to dive in face first into the course work. The first week of school I began to doubt my decision of going back to school. I began to think that the coursework was too rigorous and that there was no way that I would be able to do it. From group meetings, to workshops, to internship searches, I felt as though I had a lot on my plate.
But as the weeks have gone by things have gotten progressively easier. What happened??? My busy schedule has not changed at all, if anything, I am more busy than I was in week one. What has changed is my ability to manage my time, utilizing all the resources that my business school has to offer and my ability to push full steam ahead. The reality of it is that getting your MBA is not meant to be easy, if it was everyone would have one.
I know that the remainder of my time here will not be easy. I know that I will have to stay up many late nights, and will have to sacrifice a lot of my free time to get to my end goal. But it is comforting to know that no matter where I land after I graduate that I will be fully prepared.
Nothing that I have done thus far could have prepared me mentally, emotionally, and physically for business school. I knew that school was going to be hard, but I could not have imagined that in the first week it would be this hard.
Usually the first week of school tends to be slow and easy but business school is quite the opposite. Rather, we were thrown right in with out a life raft. I know you are probably thinking that I am being dramatic, but I really am not. That is how I and many other students feel. Everyday in the first week I was going to sleep past 12am because I was doing homework and studying. And even though I have been putting in work, it is not nearly as much as I need to be doing.
I am realizing that business school is like a never ending race that no matter how far you think you have gotten there is way more running to do. Each time that I had completed one task there was a classmate telling me that there were ten other things left to do.
Although the first week was insanely overwhelming, it has made me realize that I need to step it up and hunker down and do whatever it takes. Luckily for me I don’t have classes Fridays and this weekend is Labor Day so I am using this time as a reset to organize all my schoolwork, reply to the thousand emails the that I have and be ready to start fresh come Tuesday.
“Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
– Harriet Stowe