You can lead a horse to water

I am a helper. If you are in my life and I rock with you, I’m going to do all I can to help you. I believe helping others is especially important for those in the black community because if we don’t do it, who will?

But what happens when you continue to help someone and they continue to mess up the opportunities that you have opened for them? This is a place in which I am right now.

I struggle letting people go and just faltering, especially when I know what they can do to turn things around. But when I overextend myself only to have them mess up again it can be an extremely disappointing, frustrating, and distressing to me.

You know that old saying, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”,that’s the exact sentiment that I feel. For this person I have literally given a massive amount to fully transform their life and yet they still found a way to completely mess it up. What do I do now as this person opens up to me about their troubles? Let them fall extremely hard this time or do what I’ve been doing the last few years and help…AGAIN?

In a way to ensure that I don’t put myself in a bad space I have decided to try to help this person one last time and take a massively different approach. Take on a less hands on and more of a coaching approach. I am not here to physically do things for this person anymore, I am here to guide them and offer advice when they ask. I am here to give them literature and passages that will help them head in the right direction. It is now up to them to choose to stay on the path of always ruining things, or finally deciding to be responsible. I can no longer utilize my contacts and my personal resources to help. All I can do now is watch and pray for them and offer kind words to keep them encouraged. Although my first instinct was to do what I always do and overextend myself to help, this time I will just sit back and allow them to figure things out for themself. Hopefully this new strategy works.

-With Love Kim-

Chicago

I just wanted to post some pictures of Chicago that I’ve taken this far. And yes all photo creds go to me lol!

This city is so beautifully constructed it’s somewhat magical!

I took these first three photos from my balcony. I am still at awe that I get to wake up and go to sleep to this every day!
Located right outside of our downtown office, I took this on a lunch break and realized for the first time how beautiful the Chicago river was.
Another photo right outside my office building. The architecture here is insane
Right outside where I live but from a different vantage point.

I began to walk and looked up. Never thought a train line could be so beautiful.

From the sears tower! 1400 feet off the ground!

New Obsession: Stock Trading

I was recently asked by someone to download a stock trading app so that person could get free stock sent to them. Sure, why not? If all I’m doing is downloading an app there is no harm in that.

Little did I know that one app was about to open me up to a whole new world. I am currently now obsessed with trading stocks and I’ve spent the last 48 hours researching companies, reading reports and buying stock. This is my new thing now and I have promised myself to purchase at least $50 worth of stock each pay check.

I get that $50 doesn’t seem like a lot but man will it be worth it in the long run! What is great is that because I’ve learned about a few things in business school I am able to make more informed decisions. Don’t get me wrong, I am not about to be an analyst or trader but I do understand the jargon in reports enough for me to make somewhat decent decisions.

I am so glad I found this app! For many years I had been saying that I wanted to trade stocks outside of the company stocks that I owned.

As I’ve become extremely strategic and serious about building my wealth, this app has come at a perfect time for me! My goal is to own 100 shares of different stocks by the end of the year (hey ya gotta start small). I encourage all young women to begin doing this! It’s a really great way to build for your future and it is somewhat fun too! And with all of the different apps made available it is really easy and simple to do! The app that I am currently using is called Robinhood and so far it has been a really great app that I suggest others to look into.

I am so excited that I’ve finally done this and I can’t wait to see what my stocks do!

Living in Chicago

I moved to Chicago May 27, and I have been adjusting to the dynamics of this new city.

I moved here knowing one person, and not really knowing much about Chicago outside of what Ive seen in the news. But nonetheless I was excited about this new adventure and how I would adjust.

The last time I moved to a new city where I only knew one person, I was miserable. Mostly due to the space I was in during that time period. I was 24, and in a bad space. Like many in their early 20s my focus was all wrong and I never looked at things from a positive lenses.

I knew that my move to Chicago wouldn’t be the same for several reasons, but mostly because of my mentality, maturity, and tenacity. I have also become very content being alone, watching Netflix’s, reading and praying. Because I’ve found this inner peace and happiness. I knew moving to Chicago would be a breeze.

I am six weeks in and I have to say this city has grown on me. I currently live on the North side of the city in the most affluent area of Chicago. Not knowing anything about Chicago I had no idea of the socioeconomic status of my current place of residency. Everything was mostly based off of convenience and access to my specific housing requirements. The view from my apartment is amazing and I can see the lake and the Sears Tower. Every Wednesday and Saturday there are fireworks from the lake, which is a nice little bonus. Everything in my neighborhood is clean, safe and within walking distance.

View of the Sears Tower from my bed

View from my balcony

I have also developed a small friends circle with people who are also MBA interns living in Chicago for the summer. This actually surprised me the most as I historically have shied away from making bonds with new people due to my anxieties and trust issues.

I have six more weeks left here and I intend to really enjoy every moment of it. I am so GRATEFUL to God allowing me this opportunity to move to a new city by myself and really push myself to flourish!

What you need to know before you apply to Business School

I have said it many times,  business school is not EASY. It is not a decision that you can make over night and just decide that you want to get an MBA. You have to be dedicated to it and decide that you are going to do it no matter what. Before you apply there are a few things that you should know beforehand:

  1. Rankings Matter – you should try to go to a school that is within the top 50, and has a strong alumni base. You will realize that when you are seeking out internships and job offers that who you know will help you A LOT. Also,  schools within the top 50 usually have strong connections with specific companies that hire from your school every year.
  2. You will be Rejected – It is just the way of the game! There is no way that you will be able to get everything the exact way that you want it. When I first entered into school I had a vision for myself and what my first year would look like. I thought I would obtain my internship at the first conference of the year and I would be on the first year board of many clubs….WRONG. I was appointed to no positions, and I didn’t get my internship until Christmas Break (this is still very early). I also made it to the final round of FACEBOOK and wasn’t selected as the intern. In addition to that the coursework was super hard and my interviewing prepare wasn’t going so well. I was disappointed and felt as though I was a failure and that this was all a sign that I should just quit.
  3. You have to bounce back quick – As much as you get rejected, you will have to learn how to bounce back and overcome. You really don’t have time to dwell on rejection and since things move so fast you have to just Keep It Moving (KIM). Not letting rejection to hold you down is the only thing that you can do. And just as quickly as I was getting rejected from FACEBOOK, I had to interview with another company a few days later. I couldn’t allow my disappointment to hold me back and I had to keep what happened in the past and go out an get it (which I did!).  I also had to overcome the rejection from the first year and eventually get selected to be on the leadership boards for my second year! (all of which hold more weight than first year boards anyways).
  4. You will lose friends – Look Ima keep it real with you chief, not everyone will understand the wave that you are on. Not everyone will understand how IMPORTANT this is, and they will begin to feel some kind of way about you hanging out with new people and not having time to do the things that you use to do. This happened to me. From certain people feeling left behind, or that I wasn’t giving them the same amount of time as I was my business school friends (which you will learn, you are always with due to school being such a big part of your life), I had to let it go and keep it moving. The main reason being that I didn’t have the mental capacity to attempt to fix relationships with people who didn’t understand why I was in school. If they couldn’t understand why I had hit ghost and the fact that I was trying to change my life, then they couldn’t be in my circle any longer.
  5. This will be your whole life – Yes, I said it. Business school will consume you. Your whole world will be school. You will have fun too, don’t get me wrong, but you will always be thinking about school. On your off days you will be in school studying, working on papers and projects. You will be applying to internships, reaching out to alumni or doing career prep. You will be attending events, and helping to throw events. School will be apart of you, and you will become apart of school, so get mentally prepared to always being busy, and always have something being due.

With all that being said business school is soooooo worth it. Just the amount that I am getting paid during the summer is a great reminder of why I came back to school and what Im trying to accomplish in my life. If you feel as though you can dedicate two years to increase you earning potential for the rest of your life, then Business School is def for you!

After thoughts after my 1st year in the MBA program….

Since obtaining an MBA doesn’t yield you any special title, people who are unfamiliar, don’t know how major this degree is. One of the biggest pluses of this degree is the earning potential that it brings you when you obtain it (of course not all MBAs are equal. I will be sure to talk more about that in a different post.)  If I had to rank the top professional degrees to obtain, it would probably be in the following order: MD, JD, then MBA (ok theres probably many others in there such as nursing, astrophysicist etc. But MBA is up there).

Being in an MBA program has been by far the most difficult thing that I have ever done in my life. I believed that coming back to school would be a breeze because I was more mature and more focused than I was in undergrad. But au contraire. I was very wrong. This ish is hard…as hell. There were nights I cried wondering if I was in the right place. There were many nights I stayed up until 2 am studying only to still not understand the course work, and there were times when I flat out wanted to give up and hide under a rock. But like most things in life, that solves nothing. I have never been one to give up on ANYTHING, and my time at business school only made my will stronger.

UMD Black MBA Association
UMD Black MBA Association

One thing they don’t tell you about  business school is the that you will deal with a lot of rejections….A LOT. From not obtaining an internship offer at a specific place (the most integral part of the program), to not being appointed for a leadership role, rejection and overcoming, just becomes a part of the game. Being able to rise above and continue to forge ahead is what you become used to.

I will say, that if I had to pick one thing that being in an MBA program has taught me, it has been that I CAN DO IT. I can do ANYTHING I put my mind to, and I WILL DO IT. I will MAKE IT in this life and I WILL ACHIEVE EVERY last one of my GOALS. It has also given me a confidence like no other. No longer do I feel as though I just happened to be here, and that I may or may not make it. I know for a fact that God has given me the tools that I need to succeed and that I will be successful in my life.

I feel so appreciative for not only the technical skills that I’ve obtained but also the emotional skills that I have obtained while being enrolled in an MBA program. It feels great to be done with my first year of school and I look forward to moving to Chicago, succeeding at my internship, and coming back for my second year!

Getting my spirit right – How to make the first steps to change your life

I am realizing now that for the last few years my spirit has been all wrong. If you asked my then though, I would have said it was in the right place.

As hard as it is to admit, this time last year I was arrogant (because I was entering an MBA program), I was scared (because I was entering an MBA program), I was jealous (I was always comparing others lives to mine), I was mean (using my power to hurt others if I felt like I was wronged), I was depressed ( I was in a toxic relationship with a person who was lost too), and I was constantly filled with anxiety (I always consumed myself with thoughts of the future and what was going to happen to me). I thought I was a good person but in reality I was lost and bound to the person society said I should be (looking at the way black women are portrayed in the media, I was fitting in very well with that mold). It took me some time and some bad incidences to realize that something in my life had to change. I could no longer keep waking up with a deep aching feeling inside of my chest and having the occasional cry in my car just to “let things out”. I needed more, a lot more. And that is when I decided that I was going to push myself and seek out God.

Now that I am on a spiritual journey and rediscovering Christ I realized that I had to turn away from A LOT. In order to do so I had to sit and really think about the things I needed to eliminate in order to get to where I’m was trying to be. Below are a few things I’ve changed:

1. Decreasing my time spent on social media – this is a hard one but a necessary one. I haven’t given it up cold turkey but I did delete my Instagram app. I was spending hours looking at what everyone else was doing in their lives and would begin feeling depression or envy. In order to combat this I deleted my app to decrease my accessibility to those thoughts and feelings.

2. Reading my Bible, watching sermons – it’s amazing how the things we go through today are written about in the Bible. God has provided us with the blueprint to properly navigate through our lives, all we have to do is read what’s in his word.

3. Forcing myself to think positively– I was told that if you force yourself to think positively, it trains your brain, over time, to think positively. This is important in combating negative feelings that may be weighing you down. I have really made a point to do this daily and I have already been feeling a massive difference

4. Talking to someone – whether it be a counselor, a therapist, a pastor or a life coach, talking to a professional on the regular will help with trying to change your life. And no I’m not talking about your best friend who is probably just as lost, hurt and broken as you, but a real professional who knows what they are talking about and who can give you techniques to strive and get better.

5. Changing what I eat – believe it or not what you eat actually affects your mood and behavior. You eat junk, you’re going to get junk. Changing up my diet is still something I’m working on but I have decreased the amount of junk foods in my diet. Though it’s hard being a college student and not eating out, this is essential in turning things around.

I have a lot more tips that I will save for another post but these are just a few that I have started with to help me down the right path. So far, just a few weeks in to my journey and with these changes I have already been able to FEEL a really big change!