Tag Archives: happiness

My Journey Of Rediscovering Christ

I haven’t always been the most spiritual person. I grew up in a religious family but I always found church boring and unnecessary. It seemed like such a major task. One that I was not willing to take part in, so around the age of 14, I stopped going to church and stopped praying. I wouldn’t say that I stopped believing but my faith was not where it needed to be.

All throughout high school and college I walked a faithless walk. I did what I wanted to do and really didn’t care much about building a real relationship with God. It wasn’t until I was 24 years old and I went through my first real heartbreak that I realized I needed to do something else to heal the pain I was in. At this time I moved to Dallas in an attempt to make myself feel better. When that didn’t work I decided to turn to God. During that time period, I was in a lot of pain but I found comfort in God. It was an amazing feeling and I had never felt more peace than when I was in his presence. I would pray a lot and seek God in the times of turmoil. But unfortunately as I built up this relationship with God, I began to backslide as soon as I moved back on the east coast. There were a number of reasons for this, but mostly because I was surrounded by none believers who did nothing to help my spirit.

Since then it has been a constant up and down of me always promising to get back in the church and to read my Bible and not actually doing it. Being in an MBA program is so hard that after your week is completed you sometimes want to use the whole weekend to decompress, but I’ve been feeling like there is something missing from my life. I’ve tried to fill the void with a number of things. I would even say that coming back to school was an attempt to do as such but the emptiness still persisted. I finally realized that what I was missing was a relationship with Christ.

It is not easy to just pick back up where you left off and some times it can seem scary trying to take the steps needed to find Jesus but I built a plan for myself to take baby steps to where I need to be. I have tried to come back hundreds of times but this time I am determined to will myself back into His presence. I have decided to start with prayer and daily reading of His word. I have set up a series of reminders to do so, as well as, have told close friends about my journey so they can hold me accountable. I have begun bringing my Bible places with me to ensure I read a little each day. I signed up for daily devotional emails and have made an effort to talk about Christ to my Christian friends. My goal is to sharpen my faith muscles by surrounding myself by His word. I want to rebuild my foundation so that the pains of this world can stop having such an affect on me.

I am curious to see my transformation as I continue to study the word and delve deeper into my relationship with Christ. I am excited to see the person I am with broken chains and deliverance. I know this won’t be easy but I am ready and willing to put in the work to ensure that my spirit is right moving forward.

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Oversharing

 

I recently had an epiphany. In a world of sharing, perhaps there are some things that are better left unshared.

Of course with each one of my milestones and accomplishments I want to let the world know about what I’ve done, but it occurred to me that perhaps I was doing all of these things to gain some type of validation from the outside world.

I mean, is it not enough to tell my close family and friends about my accomplishments, receive a congrats text, and just be happy with that? Must I update my FB status telling all my FB friends (most of whom are people from high school that I don’t even talk to anymore) that I have done something awesome in my life? Must I put everything that I have done in my instagram bio? Must I post every picture that me and the guy that Im dating at that time online so that the world knows who I am seeing? Must I post things riddled with hashtags so people can see who I am??? (#blackgirlMagic, #RoadToMBA, #blacknomad).

These are just some of the questions that I began asking myself and I realized that moving forward I want to dial back what I show to the world and the manner in which I discuss my accomplishments.

Am I proud of myself? Yes. Do I want people to be just as excited and happy as I am about me moving forward in my life? Yes. But there is a fine line between sharing and bragging and I don’t want to cross that line.

So with that being said I went on my instagram and cleared out my bio. I deleted any pictures of me and any significant other and I decided to just keep the photos that I felt relayed a message of happiness, joy, and fun.

Every living moment of my life doesn’t have to be put on display and some precious moments are better left to those that are close to me.

 

 

South Africa Part 10: The Return Back Home

The last thing that was a big treat for us was that  my boyfriend and I got a free upgrade to business class during our layover in Dubai.

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Us in business class. Can you see how excited we were to be there!

The amount of excitement that we were filled with was that of a child being able to eat ice cream and cake for dinner!  Don’t get me wrong coach on Emirates Airways is really great but Business Class takes your flying experience to a whole other level.

For instance, business class is located on the top floor of the plane (Yes, this plane has two levels). As soon as we got to our seats we saw how big of a difference it was flying business class. The biggest thing were seats that could be laid out horizontally with a push of a button so that one could sleep on the flight the same way that you sleep in your bed. This was so BOMB!

The second major difference was the food. Though the food in coach was delicious, the food in business class was much better. The food seemed fresher as though it was cooked by a chef on the plane (although I know it had not) and as soon as we sat down we were given a choice of champagne, and mimosas before take off. Oh and did I mention that they had premium alcohol in business class.

In business class they feed you, LITERALLY, all through out the flight. I thought we were pretty well feed in coach, but in business class they come around with many different things such as: warm croissants, pastries, and warm nuts.  There is also a lounge area in the back of the plane and a fully stocked bar! My boyfriend and I took this as a chance to try some expensive alcohol that we probably will never buy with our own money! In the lounge they had even more snacks for us to munch on during the flight  including cheese, small cakes, and crackers. And yes we did get fed three meals while in business class, so all the extra snacks were just an added bonus! Flight attendants also  laid out linen table clothes for each person before we ate. We also had actual glasses and silverware in business class that made you feel a little bit more at home.

Because our seats converted to beds I slept way more on this leg of the trip than I did when I went to South Africa. I am not sure when I will ever get an opportunity to fly in business class again (considering for one leg on Emirates it can cost you upwards to 5k for a business class ticket), but I sure did enjoy my 13 hour flight from Dubai back to the United States!

South Africa Part 8: Discovering Cape Town

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After our tour of Robben Island we decided to go  to lunch and walk around Cape Town a bit. Unfortunately I did not take as many pictures as I should have during this leg of our day. We stayed down by the water front and took in the atmosphere of this tourist town. We walked around and grabbed lunch at a restaurant right by the water front. The wait staff was very polite and was very attentive. As I said in other posts, service in South Africa is top notch and the people who work in service seem to be extremely grateful to be serving customers.

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People walking around the water front of Cape Town

After we ate we proceeded to walk around and take in the atmosphere. We went to the mall and saw how similar the mall in Cape Town felt to the malls in America.  We also got a chance to take a picture with one of the signs that says “Table Mountain”, with the back drop obviously being Table Mountain. These signs are actually sprawled out around Cape Town for tourists to take pics with.

The first thing that I would say that I didn’t not expect while in Cape Town was the obvious European influence in its architecture (obviously if you know the history of South Africa this isn’t that surprising). Even though I haven’t been to Europe yet, I could imagine, that this is how some places there would look. Although there are a lot of Black people in Cape Town, I would say I was also surprised at the diversity. There were Indians, Chinese, and White people. It felt a little bit like Trinidad to me.

28

The day after Thanksgiving was my birthday and leading up to it I was filled with such excitement and joy. No, I wasn’t having a big birthday bash (which I never do because my friends are always out of town or with their family during Thanksgiving break) nor was I going on some special trip to celebrate. But what made me happiest about turning a year older was the fact that for the first time in my life I feel like my life is moving in the right direction, and as more time passes and the older I get, I am becoming the person that God has intended me to be. After I turned 24, I would always feel a sense of sadness and anxiety about getting older because I felt that I wasnt doing enough in my life. I would look at others and what they were doing and wish that it was me achieving more at that age. But now those feelings have been dispelled and I get filled with joy and excitement when I think about getting older and my future! I have been working on a few things that I know will make my life better and Im at the point where I just want to see the me two years from now when everything Ive been working towards come to pass.

The year between 27 and 28 has been such an amazing journey. I have had  friends and family members tell me how they have really been able to see a change in me and how proud they are of me for it. Who would have thought that a really bad break up, a crappy job and a new amazing boyfriend would have led me to have such an amazing year! A golden year at the age of 27! A year of exploration, finding myself, and finally feeling comfortable and confident in my own skin!

Im realizing now, that getting older isnt so bad if you have family and friends who love and support you. Just enjoy each part of the journey and always remember to strive to make each year GOLDEN!

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The man who made my 28th birthday special.

Dropping Baggage…so I could Travel

As 2016 comes to an end, I can honestly say that I have had one of the best years of my life. Was it less difficult than other years? No, But it was a tremendous year of growth, self discovery, and action. With all of these things came my desire to travel more, to be more open minded and more self assured. In the last year alone I have travelled to Dallas, Atlanta, Chicago, Los Angeles, Raleigh and Trinidad and Tobago. I will also be traveling back to Dallas in the next few weeks and to South Africa in December. This is the most I have traveled in a span of one year.

Prior to this year I was totting around a lot of baggage and it made it impossible for me to do the things I wanted to do such as TRAVEL. From 2013 to 2015,  I was in a difficult relationship that added a massive amount of stress to my life and spiraled me into a deep depression that I did not even realize I was in. The person that I was with during those two years would use his words to break down my spirit, morale and confidence. I can’t even tell you the amount of times that he told me the that I was worthless, a horrible person and that no one but him liked me. All of these things that he said fell in to the category of him “Keeping it real”.

I was afraid to leave because I was living in a city where I knew no one except for him, his friends and his family (none of whom I liked or liked me). Some way, some how I was able to finally leave, find my own place to stay and then a month later move back home with a new job.

Part of the reason why I made it such a point to Travel More this year was because when I was in that relationship I wasn’t allowed to do anything that I wanted to do, go where I wanted to go, or discover the things I wanted to discover. As soon as I moved back home it literally felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders and although I had to start all over again, it felt absolutely amazing to not have that person as baggage in my life weighing me down.

The sites, the sounds, and the people that I have met this year while traveling has been amazing and so worth it. And don’t get me wrong, I am not bashing my ex or holding on to the past. What I am doing is sharing my story to encourage other young women who may be going through the same things I was going through.

I encourage anyone of you who is dealing with baggage to drop it and start living the life God has ordained for you.