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5 Things you can do Today to Kick Depression 😁

Listen, I use to hate when I was depressed and people would say to me “Happiness is a Choice”…but lowkey ….it is.

If you were like me, you’re probably rolling your eyes right now. What that expression is saying is that you have the power to make specific steps to become happier. I didn’t know this before but I recently discovered that the following 5 steps can really help in making you happier.

1) Get off social media

Bruh, I’m trying to tell you. Nothing makes you more depressed than looking at others happy, living their best lives and doing things you aren’t doing. Remember, nobody posts their struggles and social media is just a highlight reel. It’s a fake metric to life and it will only make you more depressed. So take a break and get your mind right.

2) Write down your blessings each day

Thinking about what I do have, and all the blessings in my life has done tremendous for my mental health. What do I mean? Well think about it, being alive is a blessing. Having sight, all your limbs, having another day to make things better in your life are all blessings. When I started to really think about what I do have and how things could be so much worse, it really helped me to stop feeling so depressed and to be more grateful.

3) Make a plan to get out of your depression

There are several reasons why you could be depressed. Money issues, relationship issues, work, school…life is hard man, I get it. But, what steps can you take to make things better? If you just broke up with your boyfriend and you want to stop being sad, write down what you will do to get better each day. Will you join a work out class? Become more involved in church? Whatever it is, make that plan. Have specific steps and check them off. Having a plan makes the world seem less big and your mind less frantic!

4) Spend a certain amount of time alone

This one is something that I wish I knew before. People would always say “you’re depressed, go out and have fun.” Uhhhh sure but my fun would usually land me drinking tequila shots with my friends and me internally still feeling low. It wasn’t until I was by myself, going through the motions with my thoughts that I was able to properly create coping mechanism for my depression. Trust me, this wasn’t easy at all but it was necessary for me to sit with my thoughts, confront them, then combat them.

5) Stay away from drugs and alcohol

This was probably one of the most crucial things for me. As hard as it is to say it, I may have drank too much in my day. Any time I was stressed, sad, mad,happy, anxious …anything, I would drink alcohol. But guess what…the next day the problems were still there and I would feel even more guilty about wasting my time drinking rather than trying to come up with solutions. This would then make me even more depressed. And then the depression cycle would continue.

These steps aren’t a overnight thing. You need to keep at it and work on it each day in order to get your mind right. It’s not going to be easy but starting with these steps will for sure help you down the path of a depression-less life!

-Kim C

Being Still

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I have been away for a long time…

So, where have I been?

To put it quite frankly I have been away…BEING STILL. Yes, You read that right, The last few months I took time out to do the least, be still, focus on myself, and reevaluate many things in my life. In doing this I found the greatest gift of all…I found God.

Finding God honestly wasn’t my goal. I took time to be still because my life was not going the way that I wanted it to. I had, had and extremely stressful second year of my MBA program, and I had decided to separate myself, be by myself, and just be still with my thoughts. I will admit, when I first decided to do this it was 100% due to my depression. I didn’t have an awe inspiring moment of retrospective where I knew this is what I HAD TO DO to better myself. No, I just didn’t want to be around happy people because I felt so crappy. I was having a hard time finding a job that I wanted, and as I saw all of my friends landing their dream jobs. I was left feeling like God had forgotten me. I didn’t want to be around them as they were happy, and joyous. As they knew of their future plans and were making arrangements for their new lives, I was left wondering “Whats going to happen to me”. I just didn’t want to be around the swirling questions of “So, what are you doing next year?”, and me having to admit that I hadn’t achieved the goal that we were all in B-School for. This avoidance led to me wanting to be alone. Alone with myself, and thoughts.  I stopped going out with my friends, and even skipped graduation because I didn’t want to be bothered to be around people. I only really spent time with my boyfriend and my roommate. Other than that, I was withdrawn. I would drink and smoke to cope only to wake up the next day feeling even more depressed.

In the midst of this depression, I saw an IG post for a church about 20 mins away from my apartment. A girl who I use to be best friends with in high school had posted it. I then went to the churches IG page and began watching its content. I was immediately drawn to the messages, and I knew that I had to go visit this church for myself. I had been attending another popular church in my area, but I was only attending to check that box of ✔️Im going to church✔️Im a good Christian…so now God will bless me.  It didn’t better me, nor did I have a desire to change my life M-Sa. But this new church….it just felt different.

Im not going to lie, it wasn’t just an overnight thing. I didn’t walk in the doors of the church and my life just magically changed. I had to really lean in, and keep attending. This new church kept me coming back because it intrigued me, it made me want to read the Bible for myself and learn more. I still was battling with depression but going to church and learning about God and chasing after him slowly began to change my mindset. I stopped drinking and smoking. I was more conscientious of the media that I consumed. As I said, it wasn’t an overnight thing and there were times when I sat there and was like “What is all this for. Is God even real?” But when I would feel this way, I would give myself a few days of frustration and then come back push in even more to build a relationship with Him. I would pray harder, I would read my Bible more, and I would watch more sermons to get my spirit right. I even became heavily involved in my church to distract myself from my own thoughts.

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Me in Trinidad February 2019

Today I am able to honestly report that I am in such a GREAT SPACE. As, I said before this was not an overnight thing, and it took me some time to get to this space. If I had given up and quit with this journey I wouldn’t be where I am today. Mentally, and Emotionally, I am in such an AUTHENTIC happy space (authenticity is key). I attribute all of this due to me being STILL. The old me would have pushed more into partying, drinking and smoking to attempt to cope with the disappointments in my life but this time around I decided to do things differently. And with me doing so, I also found God. The best gift of my life.

I share this story to encourage you to not avoid your problems, not to drown yourselves in coping methods but to rather take time to be STILL. A Lot of time. Not just a week or a weekend. It might take months, but keep still until the atmosphere changes. Keep still and find enriching things to fill your time. Keep still and find God.

 

XoXo -Kim

 

Did I stick to my 2018 Goals?

Often times I find that we make these new years resolutions and we never actually revisit them after January. I wanted to look at what I wrote down as my New Years resolution for 2018 and see if I was able to stick with some of what I wrote down. This is not only a means of holding myself accountable but also a means of encouraging myself to stick on the path that I am on and work harder at things that I wrote down. So without further ado, lets get into it!

  1. No more self silencing – This was something that was directed towards one person in my life who use to make me feel really bad about expressing myself. He was constantly criticizing me and making it seem as though everything that came out of my mouth was WRONG or STUPID (which was really funny because he literally was a person that had not one pot to piss in). This is what caused me to self silence as a means to not offend this person. I never had this issue with anyone else. Long story short, it was HIM not ME, and my life has been way better ever since we have broken ties. So I do not self silence and I guess I technically never really did.
  2. No More Comparing – Sadly, this again ties into #1. This person made me feel so crappy about myself that I was CONSTANTLY comparing myself to other women. I got rid of his negativity and began comparing myself WAY LESS.
  3. Self Preservation – I think that this year I have done a better job of self preservation but I definitely can do better. One great thing that happened to me in the last quarter of the year was that I began drinking way less and started being a little bit more conscience and aware of what I was putting in my body. I also tried to be aware of what I was watching and listening to, because as you may or may not know, all of that can really have an affect on your everyday life.  I also began going to church on a weekly basis and utilized the word as a means of mental renewal.
  4. Using Social Media Less – I think that I had spurts of when I was using it less, but definitely not where I want to be. If you know anything, then you should know that social media is a tool that can really kill ones spirit.
  5. No complaining, Positive Outlooks Only – I have gotten way better at this! I try to be more aware of what I am saying and how I am thinking in general. This has allowed me to be less depressed and really push through the hard times.
  6. Be more prepared – Last year I wrote this because school was a real struggle for me and I felt as though I was lacking, but in reality I am not this ill prepared person.
  7. Work Harder – This is something that everyone can try to better at year over year. Work harder than your hardest! I did do that this past year, and I plan on doing it again in 2019!

MBA Chronicles : Scared outta my MIND

 

Have you ever been so afraid to do something major in your life that, that doubt prevents you from achieving your goals? This is something that I am being forced to overcome while pushing ahead with my MBA ambitions.

It is so crazy, because this is what I have wanted so badly for the last four years, and yet now that I am here, I am scared out of my mind. With every pre-course that I work on and with every case study that we are given to review, I feel more and more nervous that this is something that I can not do. I keep thinking, is this normal? Why am I doubting myself so badly?

I think part of the reason all of these feelings have been rushing in is partly because I was not mentally prepared for how much work I was going to have to do prior to school starting. I believed that I could have one summer of just chilling with no job, waking up when ever I wanted, until school started….WRONG.

This MBA program hasn’t even officially started and I have already turned in several assignments, taken several tests, and done so much research and preparation for my career aspirations.

Daily it is one thing after another ,and to be quite frank it is a bit overwhelming. BUT, although I am overwhelmed it is showing me that there are a lot of things that I need to improve on once I enter school.

The first thing being NOT PROCRASTINATING. Part of the reason I am in this extremely stressed space that I am in is because I went to Trinidad for two weeks and instead of doing work, I sat around all day and limed (Trini term for hanging out) with my family. Once school starts I obviously will have to step my game up and sacrifice sleep, and down time to do school work.

The second thing is my TIME MANAGEMENT SKILLS. I need to do a better job managing the time that I carve out dedicated to school work. There have been several days when I say I am going to wake up by a certain time to get work done and then I don’t start it until late.

The third thing is IMPROVE NOTE TAKING. I am the type of person who likes to take down super detailed notes. This has proved to be ineffective for me as I spend hours and hours just writing stuff down and not getting through the content quick enough. This ties back to TIME MANAGEMENT because I literally waste precious time writing things that may not necessarily need to be written down.

The fourth thing is STAYING POSITIVE. I don’t know why I am so hard on myself. I don’t know why I have a hard time looking for the good in stressful situations and striving past complaining. I think that with me being in an MBA program I don’t have time to be negative and to beat myself up. I need to ALWAYS stay positive, find a solution and work towards it.

As I work towards a better future for myself I have to remember this one thing, I CAN DO THIS, and I WILL DO THIS. 

South Africa Part 10: The Return Back Home

The last thing that was a big treat for us was that  my boyfriend and I got a free upgrade to business class during our layover in Dubai.

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Us in business class. Can you see how excited we were to be there!

The amount of excitement that we were filled with was that of a child being able to eat ice cream and cake for dinner!  Don’t get me wrong coach on Emirates Airways is really great but Business Class takes your flying experience to a whole other level.

For instance, business class is located on the top floor of the plane (Yes, this plane has two levels). As soon as we got to our seats we saw how big of a difference it was flying business class. The biggest thing were seats that could be laid out horizontally with a push of a button so that one could sleep on the flight the same way that you sleep in your bed. This was so BOMB!

The second major difference was the food. Though the food in coach was delicious, the food in business class was much better. The food seemed fresher as though it was cooked by a chef on the plane (although I know it had not) and as soon as we sat down we were given a choice of champagne, and mimosas before take off. Oh and did I mention that they had premium alcohol in business class.

In business class they feed you, LITERALLY, all through out the flight. I thought we were pretty well feed in coach, but in business class they come around with many different things such as: warm croissants, pastries, and warm nuts.  There is also a lounge area in the back of the plane and a fully stocked bar! My boyfriend and I took this as a chance to try some expensive alcohol that we probably will never buy with our own money! In the lounge they had even more snacks for us to munch on during the flight  including cheese, small cakes, and crackers. And yes we did get fed three meals while in business class, so all the extra snacks were just an added bonus! Flight attendants also  laid out linen table clothes for each person before we ate. We also had actual glasses and silverware in business class that made you feel a little bit more at home.

Because our seats converted to beds I slept way more on this leg of the trip than I did when I went to South Africa. I am not sure when I will ever get an opportunity to fly in business class again (considering for one leg on Emirates it can cost you upwards to 5k for a business class ticket), but I sure did enjoy my 13 hour flight from Dubai back to the United States!

South Africa Part 9: Our last day in Cape Town

Our last day in Cape Town we spent the day at Green Market Square. The day before we had asked one of our servers  where was a good place for us to purchase South African souvenirs at a cheaper price. He said Green Market Square was the place to go. Since we only had a few more hours left in Cape Town until we departed, we ate a small breakfast and made our way to Green Market Square. We called an Uber and he dropped us off right by the square

Once we walked up, there were several different vendors and most of them were selling the same things. Initially I thought that each vendor had hand crafted, painted or sewn each item, but as I walked around I realized that they all had the same exact items. But this was not that big of a deal to me because the items were very nice nonetheless.

What is good about Green Market Square is that you can negotiate prices with the vendors. What is bad about Green Market Square is that you can negotiate prices with the vendors. What do I mean? Well first off it is always a good thing when you can talk down a price but some times this can lead to vendors haggling you, giving you their life story about how much they are struggling or even you feeling guilty that you asked for a cheap price on an item (this was my case, I felt really bad asking for lower prices). It was a bit overwhelming when we were walking around the different booths trying to decide what to get. I wanted to get everything, but of course I could not. It was also overwhelming because as soon as I would go up to look at an item more closely I was then bombarded with the vendor asking me a ton of questions or saying things to me to try and make me buy it. I mean I get it. This is how people make their living and as a person from a third world myself I respect the hustle, but sometimes I just want to browse and decide on my own.

Nonetheless we ended up getting some real good items to bring back to America. Some of the vendors actually take credit cards, but most only take cash. We ran out of cash at one point in time so we had to go to a local ATM to get some more. Since Green Market Square is in a busy part of Cape Town finding an ATM was not hard at all.

 We purchased kente clothe bags, necklaces, cups, dashikis, key chains, and so much more. Here are just some of the items that we purchased. Unfortunately I did not think to take any pictures of Green Market Square myself (still trying to get use to documenting everything) but I went ahead and googled some images of the square so that you could get the idea of what it was like.

South Africa Part 5: The Wedding

The morning of the wedding I woke up after three hours of sleep and headed to my sisters cottage to begin the prepping for the day. I got my makeup and lashes done and all of us bridesmaids began doing what we had to do to get my sister ready for her big day. It was December 31st so this meant that we would be bringing in the new year with family and friends and celebrating my sisters big day!

 

My sister’s wedding was extravagant. It was truly a dream wedding. From the flowers, to the food, to the Rolls Royce that was sent to pick her up, everything was perfect. Her wedding was held at the Val De Vie Polo Club. As mentioned before ,this place is most well-known for Prince Harry taking part of polo matches. This club is in the wine lands and is surrounded by beautiful mountains and made for a beautiful backdrop for my sister’s wedding day. There was a cocktail hour where servers passed around an array of fresh cooked foods (so fresh that I burned my tongue). The servers were also taking requests of any drink that one wanted. Champagne was flowing as a marimba band played. There was also a caricature artist who was drawing pictures of guests. Once the wedding space was opened up to guests we were met with a beautiful place setting with our names on it. We also had a three course meal and an open bar that seemed to be stocked with everything and anything. The servers were amazing. I can not stress how grateful I was to those who worked my sister’s wedding because their kind nature, willing spirit and overall good attitude made the evening that much more pleasant. As midnight struck we all entered the new year together. It definitely was a magical night.