Tag Archives: relationship

5 Things you can do Today to Kick Depression 😁

Listen, I use to hate when I was depressed and people would say to me “Happiness is a Choice”…but lowkey ….it is.

If you were like me, you’re probably rolling your eyes right now. What that expression is saying is that you have the power to make specific steps to become happier. I didn’t know this before but I recently discovered that the following 5 steps can really help in making you happier.

1) Get off social media

Bruh, I’m trying to tell you. Nothing makes you more depressed than looking at others happy, living their best lives and doing things you aren’t doing. Remember, nobody posts their struggles and social media is just a highlight reel. It’s a fake metric to life and it will only make you more depressed. So take a break and get your mind right.

2) Write down your blessings each day

Thinking about what I do have, and all the blessings in my life has done tremendous for my mental health. What do I mean? Well think about it, being alive is a blessing. Having sight, all your limbs, having another day to make things better in your life are all blessings. When I started to really think about what I do have and how things could be so much worse, it really helped me to stop feeling so depressed and to be more grateful.

3) Make a plan to get out of your depression

There are several reasons why you could be depressed. Money issues, relationship issues, work, school…life is hard man, I get it. But, what steps can you take to make things better? If you just broke up with your boyfriend and you want to stop being sad, write down what you will do to get better each day. Will you join a work out class? Become more involved in church? Whatever it is, make that plan. Have specific steps and check them off. Having a plan makes the world seem less big and your mind less frantic!

4) Spend a certain amount of time alone

This one is something that I wish I knew before. People would always say “you’re depressed, go out and have fun.” Uhhhh sure but my fun would usually land me drinking tequila shots with my friends and me internally still feeling low. It wasn’t until I was by myself, going through the motions with my thoughts that I was able to properly create coping mechanism for my depression. Trust me, this wasn’t easy at all but it was necessary for me to sit with my thoughts, confront them, then combat them.

5) Stay away from drugs and alcohol

This was probably one of the most crucial things for me. As hard as it is to say it, I may have drank too much in my day. Any time I was stressed, sad, mad,happy, anxious …anything, I would drink alcohol. But guess what…the next day the problems were still there and I would feel even more guilty about wasting my time drinking rather than trying to come up with solutions. This would then make me even more depressed. And then the depression cycle would continue.

These steps aren’t a overnight thing. You need to keep at it and work on it each day in order to get your mind right. It’s not going to be easy but starting with these steps will for sure help you down the path of a depression-less life!

-Kim C

South Africa Part 5: The Wedding

The morning of the wedding I woke up after three hours of sleep and headed to my sisters cottage to begin the prepping for the day. I got my makeup and lashes done and all of us bridesmaids began doing what we had to do to get my sister ready for her big day. It was December 31st so this meant that we would be bringing in the new year with family and friends and celebrating my sisters big day!

 

My sister’s wedding was extravagant. It was truly a dream wedding. From the flowers, to the food, to the Rolls Royce that was sent to pick her up, everything was perfect. Her wedding was held at the Val De Vie Polo Club. As mentioned before ,this place is most well-known for Prince Harry taking part of polo matches. This club is in the wine lands and is surrounded by beautiful mountains and made for a beautiful backdrop for my sister’s wedding day. There was a cocktail hour where servers passed around an array of fresh cooked foods (so fresh that I burned my tongue). The servers were also taking requests of any drink that one wanted. Champagne was flowing as a marimba band played. There was also a caricature artist who was drawing pictures of guests. Once the wedding space was opened up to guests we were met with a beautiful place setting with our names on it. We also had a three course meal and an open bar that seemed to be stocked with everything and anything. The servers were amazing. I can not stress how grateful I was to those who worked my sister’s wedding because their kind nature, willing spirit and overall good attitude made the evening that much more pleasant. As midnight struck we all entered the new year together. It definitely was a magical night.

Dropping Baggage…so I could Travel

As 2016 comes to an end, I can honestly say that I have had one of the best years of my life. Was it less difficult than other years? No, But it was a tremendous year of growth, self discovery, and action. With all of these things came my desire to travel more, to be more open minded and more self assured. In the last year alone I have travelled to Dallas, Atlanta, Chicago, Los Angeles, Raleigh and Trinidad and Tobago. I will also be traveling back to Dallas in the next few weeks and to South Africa in December. This is the most I have traveled in a span of one year.

Prior to this year I was totting around a lot of baggage and it made it impossible for me to do the things I wanted to do such as TRAVEL. From 2013 to 2015,  I was in a difficult relationship that added a massive amount of stress to my life and spiraled me into a deep depression that I did not even realize I was in. The person that I was with during those two years would use his words to break down my spirit, morale and confidence. I can’t even tell you the amount of times that he told me the that I was worthless, a horrible person and that no one but him liked me. All of these things that he said fell in to the category of him “Keeping it real”.

I was afraid to leave because I was living in a city where I knew no one except for him, his friends and his family (none of whom I liked or liked me). Some way, some how I was able to finally leave, find my own place to stay and then a month later move back home with a new job.

Part of the reason why I made it such a point to Travel More this year was because when I was in that relationship I wasn’t allowed to do anything that I wanted to do, go where I wanted to go, or discover the things I wanted to discover. As soon as I moved back home it literally felt like a weight was lifted off of my shoulders and although I had to start all over again, it felt absolutely amazing to not have that person as baggage in my life weighing me down.

The sites, the sounds, and the people that I have met this year while traveling has been amazing and so worth it. And don’t get me wrong, I am not bashing my ex or holding on to the past. What I am doing is sharing my story to encourage other young women who may be going through the same things I was going through.

I encourage anyone of you who is dealing with baggage to drop it and start living the life God has ordained for you.

Planning for a Wedding

Planning a wedding is hard…planning a wedding 8900 miles away from the location, is even harder.

As I said before, my sister is getting married in December and her wedding will be taking place in South Africa. She is currently in the Midwest doing her MBA so on top of being in school and trying to keep everything together, she is also planning her wedding.

When I was younger, I always envisioned me having a hand in the planning of my sisters wedding. Being there when she picked her dress, when she went to pick out floral arrangements and bridesmaids dresses…you know the whole shebang, but as life turned out that’s not how things were meant to be. Ever since my sister left to go to college at Stanford University at the age of 17 (I was 15 at the time), she and I have never lived in the same state (except for a 1 year stint I did in Dallas, Texas with her). So my dreams of being hands on in the planning of her wedding was just a dream that should have died many years ago lol.

Since I realized that I would not be able to help her with planning her wedding, I felt that as the maid of honor, I should try to help with something. So I am helping in the planning of her 30th/Bachelorette party that we are having for her next month.

As we did last year we are headed back to Dallas and have invited all of our friends to come with us. Last years festivities were amazing. We drank, we laughed, we danced and most importantly, WE ATE (Because if you dont know by now, Dallas has some bomb restaurants).