I remember when I turned 25, I was so sad. I cried and cried thinking that I was getting so old, I was unmarried and I was super miserable in the relationship I was in.
Each year that passed after that, the feeling somewhat stayed the same. A feeling of “oh Gosh, I’m getting older, what do I do now”.
But as my 30th drew near, something clicked in me and the usual feeling of sadness did not come. Rather, As my birthday approached I was filled with excitement and appreciation to see this age. The last few months I have been on an appreciation kick. Appreciating every last thing I could think of from big things such as being in an MBA program, to small things like being able to move all my toes and fingers. This appreciation didn’t allow me to feel any sense of sadness or anxiety of being 30, rather I was filled with joy that God allowed me to be on this earth this long.
I must say, I love the thought of being in my 30s and leaving all the junk and baggage of my 20s behind. I am now older, calmer, smarter, stronger….better. And that my friends is something worth being happy for!
I am a helper. If you are in my life and I rock with you, I’m going to do all I can to help you. I believe helping others is especially important for those in the black community because if we don’t do it, who will?
But what happens when you continue to help someone and they continue to mess up the opportunities that you have opened for them? This is a place in which I am right now.
I struggle letting people go and just faltering, especially when I know what they can do to turn things around. But when I overextend myself only to have them mess up again it can be an extremely disappointing, frustrating, and distressing to me.
You know that old saying, “you can lead a horse to water but you can’t make him drink”,that’s the exact sentiment that I feel. For this person I have literally given a massive amount to fully transform their life and yet they still found a way to completely mess it up. What do I do now as this person opens up to me about their troubles? Let them fall extremely hard this time or do what I’ve been doing the last few years and help…AGAIN?
In a way to ensure that I don’t put myself in a bad space I have decided to try to help this person one last time and take a massively different approach. Take on a less hands on and more of a coaching approach. I am not here to physically do things for this person anymore, I am here to guide them and offer advice when they ask. I am here to give them literature and passages that will help them head in the right direction. It is now up to them to choose to stay on the path of always ruining things, or finally deciding to be responsible. I can no longer utilize my contacts and my personal resources to help. All I can do now is watch and pray for them and offer kind words to keep them encouraged. Although my first instinct was to do what I always do and overextend myself to help, this time I will just sit back and allow them to figure things out for themself. Hopefully this new strategy works.
The last thing that was a big treat for us was that my boyfriend and I got a free upgrade to business class during our layover in Dubai.
The amount of excitement that we were filled with was that of a child being able to eat ice cream and cake for dinner! Don’t get me wrong coach on Emirates Airways is really great but Business Class takes your flying experience to a whole other level.
For instance, business class is located on the top floor of the plane (Yes, this plane has two levels). As soon as we got to our seats we saw how big of a difference it was flying business class. The biggest thing were seats that could be laid out horizontally with a push of a button so that one could sleep on the flight the same way that you sleep in your bed. This was so BOMB!
The second major difference was the food. Though the food in coach was delicious, the food in business class was much better. The food seemed fresher as though it was cooked by a chef on the plane (although I know it had not) and as soon as we sat down we were given a choice of champagne, and mimosas before take off. Oh and did I mention that they had premium alcohol in business class.
In business class they feed you, LITERALLY,all through out the flight. I thought we were pretty well feed in coach, but in business class they come around with many different things such as: warm croissants, pastries, and warm nuts. There is also a lounge area in the back of the plane and a fully stocked bar! My boyfriend and I took this as a chance to try some expensive alcohol that we probably will never buy with our own money! In the lounge they had even more snacks for us to munch on during the flight including cheese, small cakes, and crackers. And yes we did get fed three meals while in business class, so all the extra snacks were just an added bonus! Flight attendants also laid out linen table clothes for each person before we ate. We also had actual glasses and silverware in business class that made you feel a little bit more at home.
Because our seats converted to beds I slept way more on this leg of the trip than I did when I went to South Africa. I am not sure when I will ever get an opportunity to fly in business class again (considering for one leg on Emirates it can cost you upwards to 5k for a business class ticket), but I sure did enjoy my 13 hour flight from Dubai back to the United States!
Our last day in Cape Town we spent the day at Green Market Square. The day before we had asked one of our servers where was a good place for us to purchase South African souvenirs at a cheaper price. He said Green Market Square was the place to go. Since we only had a few more hours left in Cape Town until we departed, we ate a small breakfast and made our way to Green Market Square. We called an Uber and he dropped us off right by the square
Once we walked up, there were several different vendors and most of them were selling the same things. Initially I thought that each vendor had hand crafted, painted or sewn each item, but as I walked around I realized that they all had the same exact items. But this was not that big of a deal to me because the items were very nice nonetheless.
What is good about Green Market Square is that you can negotiate prices with the vendors. What is bad about Green Market Square is that you can negotiate prices with the vendors. What do I mean? Well first off it is always a good thing when you can talk down a price but some times this can lead to vendors haggling you, giving you their life story about how much they are struggling or even you feeling guilty that you asked for a cheap price on an item (this was my case, I felt really bad asking for lower prices). It was a bit overwhelming when we were walking around the different booths trying to decide what to get. I wanted to get everything, but of course I could not. It was also overwhelming because as soon as I would go up to look at an item more closely I was then bombarded with the vendor asking me a ton of questions or saying things to me to try and make me buy it. I mean I get it. This is how people make their living and as a person from a third world myself I respect the hustle, but sometimes I just want to browse and decide on my own.
Nonetheless we ended up getting some real good items to bring back to America. Some of the vendors actually take credit cards, but most only take cash. We ran out of cash at one point in time so we had to go to a local ATM to get some more. Since Green Market Square is in a busy part of Cape Town finding an ATM was not hard at all.
We purchased kente clothe bags, necklaces, cups, dashikis, key chains, and so much more. Here are just some of the items that we purchased. Unfortunately I did not think to take any pictures of Green Market Square myself (still trying to get use to documenting everything) but I went ahead and googled some images of the square so that you could get the idea of what it was like.
After our tour of Robben Island we decided to go to lunch and walk around Cape Town a bit. Unfortunately I did not take as many pictures as I should have during this leg of our day. We stayed down by the water front and took in the atmosphere of this tourist town. We walked around and grabbed lunch at a restaurant right by the water front. The wait staff was very polite and was very attentive. As I said in other posts, service in South Africa is top notch and the people who work in service seem to be extremely grateful to be serving customers.
After we ate we proceeded to walk around and take in the atmosphere. We went to the mall and saw how similar the mall in Cape Town felt to the malls in America. We also got a chance to take a picture with one of the signs that says “Table Mountain”, with the back drop obviously being Table Mountain. These signs are actually sprawled out around Cape Town for tourists to take pics with.
The first thing that I would say that I didn’t not expect while in Cape Town was the obvious European influence in its architecture (obviously if you know the history of South Africa this isn’t that surprising). Even though I haven’t been to Europe yet, I could imagine, that this is how some places there would look. Although there are a lot of Black people in Cape Town, I would say I was also surprised at the diversity. There were Indians, Chinese, and White people. It felt a little bit like Trinidad to me.
We had one more day in South Africa and we were going to use that last day discovering Cape Town and visiting Robben Island.
We purchased tickets to Robben Island prior so that we knew for sure we would have a place on the tour. They offer about 3 tours a day. Each tour takes about three hours. An hour each way to and from the island and an hour touring the island. We took a small boat to Robben Island.
The first part of the tour was the bus tour around the island. We had a guide who gave us the history of Robben Island and its many uses. Unlike what most think, Robben Island was not only for prisoners, it had many other uses including a place for leapers to live. The views from this island are amazing and breathtaking.
The final stop of the tour was the prison where Nelson Mandela spent 18 of his 27 years imprisoned. The tour started in a holding area where prisoners would first be brought to be booked and processed. While we all found a place to sit, a man came to the front and began telling us some of brutal history of the prison, and he revealed that he himself was also a prisoner for many years with Nelson Mandela. The tour continued as he walked us around the prison grounds telling us about the different sections of the prison, and some of the things that prisoners were forced to do. The tour finally concluded with us passing by the cell that was designated to Nelson Mandela.
Holding cell of prisoners
Grounds of the prison
Being on this tour was a great way to end our trip to South Africa. Walking the same steps of one of my heroes was a transient feeling that I will never forget. Walking the grounds and thinking of being imprisoned behind those walls for years was a sad feeling that reminded me how much people had sacrificed all over the world for black rights.