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5 Things you can do Today to Kick Depression 😁

Listen, I use to hate when I was depressed and people would say to me “Happiness is a Choice”…but lowkey ….it is.

If you were like me, you’re probably rolling your eyes right now. What that expression is saying is that you have the power to make specific steps to become happier. I didn’t know this before but I recently discovered that the following 5 steps can really help in making you happier.

1) Get off social media

Bruh, I’m trying to tell you. Nothing makes you more depressed than looking at others happy, living their best lives and doing things you aren’t doing. Remember, nobody posts their struggles and social media is just a highlight reel. It’s a fake metric to life and it will only make you more depressed. So take a break and get your mind right.

2) Write down your blessings each day

Thinking about what I do have, and all the blessings in my life has done tremendous for my mental health. What do I mean? Well think about it, being alive is a blessing. Having sight, all your limbs, having another day to make things better in your life are all blessings. When I started to really think about what I do have and how things could be so much worse, it really helped me to stop feeling so depressed and to be more grateful.

3) Make a plan to get out of your depression

There are several reasons why you could be depressed. Money issues, relationship issues, work, school…life is hard man, I get it. But, what steps can you take to make things better? If you just broke up with your boyfriend and you want to stop being sad, write down what you will do to get better each day. Will you join a work out class? Become more involved in church? Whatever it is, make that plan. Have specific steps and check them off. Having a plan makes the world seem less big and your mind less frantic!

4) Spend a certain amount of time alone

This one is something that I wish I knew before. People would always say “you’re depressed, go out and have fun.” Uhhhh sure but my fun would usually land me drinking tequila shots with my friends and me internally still feeling low. It wasn’t until I was by myself, going through the motions with my thoughts that I was able to properly create coping mechanism for my depression. Trust me, this wasn’t easy at all but it was necessary for me to sit with my thoughts, confront them, then combat them.

5) Stay away from drugs and alcohol

This was probably one of the most crucial things for me. As hard as it is to say it, I may have drank too much in my day. Any time I was stressed, sad, mad,happy, anxious …anything, I would drink alcohol. But guess what…the next day the problems were still there and I would feel even more guilty about wasting my time drinking rather than trying to come up with solutions. This would then make me even more depressed. And then the depression cycle would continue.

These steps aren’t a overnight thing. You need to keep at it and work on it each day in order to get your mind right. It’s not going to be easy but starting with these steps will for sure help you down the path of a depression-less life!

-Kim C

Trinidad – Late Post

As I mentioned before, I didn’t get the chance to post as much as I would have liked to in the last year, and I am hoping to get better this year. Last year I was fortunate enough to travel out of the country twice, and one of those places being Trinidad. If you have read my other blogs then you know that Trinidad is a place I travel to on a yearly basis due to my whole family still living there. So of course I had to go again in 2018 to see my family and decompress from my first year within the MBA program. I actually went twice last year, and these are those pics from my fun!

 

 

I turned the big 3-0

I remember when I turned 25, I was so sad. I cried and cried thinking that I was getting so old, I was unmarried and I was super miserable in the relationship I was in.

Each year that passed after that, the feeling somewhat stayed the same. A feeling of “oh Gosh, I’m getting older, what do I do now”.

But as my 30th drew near, something clicked in me and the usual feeling of sadness did not come. Rather, As my birthday approached I was filled with excitement and appreciation to see this age. The last few months I have been on an appreciation kick. Appreciating every last thing I could think of from big things such as being in an MBA program, to small things like being able to move all my toes and fingers. This appreciation didn’t allow me to feel any sense of sadness or anxiety of being 30, rather I was filled with joy that God allowed me to be on this earth this long.

I must say, I love the thought of being in my 30s and leaving all the junk and baggage of my 20s behind. I am now older, calmer, smarter, stronger….better. And that my friends is something worth being happy for!

Chicago

I just wanted to post some pictures of Chicago that I’ve taken this far. And yes all photo creds go to me lol!

This city is so beautifully constructed it’s somewhat magical!

I took these first three photos from my balcony. I am still at awe that I get to wake up and go to sleep to this every day!
Located right outside of our downtown office, I took this on a lunch break and realized for the first time how beautiful the Chicago river was.
Another photo right outside my office building. The architecture here is insane
Right outside where I live but from a different vantage point.

I began to walk and looked up. Never thought a train line could be so beautiful.

From the sears tower! 1400 feet off the ground!

Getting my spirit right – How to make the first steps to change your life

I am realizing now that for the last few years my spirit has been all wrong. If you asked my then though, I would have said it was in the right place.

As hard as it is to admit, this time last year I was arrogant (because I was entering an MBA program), I was scared (because I was entering an MBA program), I was jealous (I was always comparing others lives to mine), I was mean (using my power to hurt others if I felt like I was wronged), I was depressed ( I was in a toxic relationship with a person who was lost too), and I was constantly filled with anxiety (I always consumed myself with thoughts of the future and what was going to happen to me). I thought I was a good person but in reality I was lost and bound to the person society said I should be (looking at the way black women are portrayed in the media, I was fitting in very well with that mold). It took me some time and some bad incidences to realize that something in my life had to change. I could no longer keep waking up with a deep aching feeling inside of my chest and having the occasional cry in my car just to “let things out”. I needed more, a lot more. And that is when I decided that I was going to push myself and seek out God.

Now that I am on a spiritual journey and rediscovering Christ I realized that I had to turn away from A LOT. In order to do so I had to sit and really think about the things I needed to eliminate in order to get to where I’m was trying to be. Below are a few things I’ve changed:

1. Decreasing my time spent on social media – this is a hard one but a necessary one. I haven’t given it up cold turkey but I did delete my Instagram app. I was spending hours looking at what everyone else was doing in their lives and would begin feeling depression or envy. In order to combat this I deleted my app to decrease my accessibility to those thoughts and feelings.

2. Reading my Bible, watching sermons – it’s amazing how the things we go through today are written about in the Bible. God has provided us with the blueprint to properly navigate through our lives, all we have to do is read what’s in his word.

3. Forcing myself to think positively– I was told that if you force yourself to think positively, it trains your brain, over time, to think positively. This is important in combating negative feelings that may be weighing you down. I have really made a point to do this daily and I have already been feeling a massive difference

4. Talking to someone – whether it be a counselor, a therapist, a pastor or a life coach, talking to a professional on the regular will help with trying to change your life. And no I’m not talking about your best friend who is probably just as lost, hurt and broken as you, but a real professional who knows what they are talking about and who can give you techniques to strive and get better.

5. Changing what I eat – believe it or not what you eat actually affects your mood and behavior. You eat junk, you’re going to get junk. Changing up my diet is still something I’m working on but I have decreased the amount of junk foods in my diet. Though it’s hard being a college student and not eating out, this is essential in turning things around.

I have a lot more tips that I will save for another post but these are just a few that I have started with to help me down the right path. So far, just a few weeks in to my journey and with these changes I have already been able to FEEL a really big change!

I’m Moving to Chicago

It’s so funny how God works. Between the years of 2011-2015, I wanted to move to Chicago so badly. I fell in love with the city from the first time I visited it and I wanted to be apart of it. I applied to every job I could in Chicago and I sought out transfer opportunities from my then employers. Nothing seemed to work and I got it in my head that Chicago just wasn’t where I was meant to be….

Fast forward to present day and I now have the opportunity to live in Chicago! It is only for a 3 month period during the summer, but nonetheless, this is an exciting time for me! As any MBA student or prospective student knows, obtaining a summer internship is an integral part of the MBA program. It is an opportunity to get on the job training in your desired field, a chance to get a full time offer for the next year and an opportunity to make some really good money (like ridiculously amazing)! And within the first week of my second semester I obtained an internship with my company of choice in Chicago!

I feel so blessed to be in this space and I give all glory to God. The internship search process is long and very hard, so the fact that I obtained one so early on was a real stress reliever.

Oh and an amazing little tidbit that makes this that much sweeter is that I’m the first person from my school to be hired at this major company! Being black and being the first feels so amazing! I have to set the bar high for those who come after me and hope I can make my school proud!

This just goes to show never give up on your dreams, and never give up on God because he has a plan for you, he is bigger and he is always WORKING!

2018 Resolutions

I had to take some time to really think about what my New Years resolution would be. Initially when I decided to write this post I was rushing to write down things and I found that my resolutions were somewhat cliche and unauthentic. So it took me 15 days into January to really figure out what I wanted to work on this year and how I want to improve in life. So here it is:

  1. No more self silencing – A lot of times I have self silenced myself in fear of what others may think or fear of hurting another persons feelings. This has caused a lot of issues in my life because I find myself doing things that I don’t necessarily want to do. Then I beat myself up for not speaking up.
  2. No More Comparing – This is something that I didn’t even realize that I did until I forced myself to sit back and take time to think about my flaws. I don’t think that most women would admit it (but I’m going to be real here), but I realized that this is something that I did so much that I didn’t even realize I was doing it.
  3. Self Preservation– I realized that this HAD to be on my list. I need to practice self preservation of my mind, body and soul. I want to do more to preserve my physical by eating healthier, drinking more water, and working out. I also want to make sure to do things like getting facials and focusing more on my hair health. I want to go to church more to feed my mind and soul. And take the time to sit, pray, be quiet, and meditate to feed my mental!
  4. Using Social Media Less –  This ties in to my #2. I believe that with me going on social media and clicking on others pages and thinking negative comments about others, or thinking negative comments about myself, I am in turn doing more damage to myself than I realize. By forcing myself to use social media less, stay away from certain peoples pages (lets admit, we all go on peoples pages that we don’t follow and or even like), and spending more time and energy to improving myself will allow me to really improve in 2018.
  5. No complaining, Positive Outlooks Only – This is the key to living a better happy life, in my opinion. It will improve my daily mood, my daily outlook, and my overall success in life.
  6. Be more prepared – Being that I am in school, I need to get way better at being more prepared. I need to stop waiting until the last minute to study, to do assignments.
  7. Work Harder – I work hard but there is always room to work harder and nap less.